I am sure you will all be pleased to learn of the following recent
scientific discovery concerning healthy eating! This is sure to redefine how
we think about food. I know that I plan on immediately implementing this
program into my own health regimen.
As we all know, it takes 1 calorie to
heat 1 gram of water to1 degree Celsius. Translated into meaningful terms,
this means that if you eat a very cold dessert (generally consisting of
water in large part), the natural processes which raise the consumed dessert
to body temperature during the digestive cycle literally sucks the calories
out of the only available source: your body fat.
For example, a dessert served and eaten
near 0 degrees C (32.2 F) will in a short time be raised to the normal body
temperature of 37 degrees C (98.6 degrees F).
For each gram of dessert eaten, that
process takes approximately 37 calories as stated above.
The average dessert portion is 6 oz, or
168 grams. Therefore, by operation of thermodynamic law, 6,216 calories (1
cal./gm/degrees x 37 degrees x 168 gm) are extracted from body fat as the
dessert's temperature is normalized.
Allowing for the 1,200 latent calories
in the dessert, the net calorie loss is approximately 5,000 calories.
Obviously, the more cold dessert you
eat, the better off you are and the faster you will lose weight, if that is
This process works equally well when
drinking very cold beer in frosted glasses. Each ounce of beer contains 16
latent calories, but extracts 1,036 calories (6,216 cal. per 6 oz. portion)
in the temperature normalizing process. Thus the net calorie loss per ounce
of beer is 1,020 calories.
It doesn't take a rocket scientist to
calculate that 12,240 calories (12oz. x 1,020 cal./oz.) are extracted from
the body in the process of drinking a can of beer.
Frozen desserts, e.g., ice cream, are
even more beneficial, since it takes 83 cal./gm to melt them (i.e., raise
them to 0 degrees C) and an additional 37 cal./gm to further raise them to
body temperature. The results here are really remarkable, and it beats
running hands down.
Unfortunately, for those who eat pizza
as an excuse to drink soda pop, pizza (loaded with latent calories and
served above body temperature) induces an opposite effect. But thankfully,
as the astute reader should have already reasoned, the obvious solution is
to drink a lot of beer with pizza and follow up immediately with large bowls
of ice cream.
We should all be thin very soon if we
adhere religiously to this pizza, beer, and ice cream diet!!
Contributed by Lloyd from Neenah, Wisconsin"