Index Pg. 1
Don't know what you want to be when you grow up?
Don't worry, here's some notes about various occupations from my brother Lloyd
Williamson. (Please! Don't blame me. It's his
Fun at Work
- The plumber tried to dislodge the obstruction with a thick-soled shoe,
but he only succeeded in clogging the drain.
- The police officer had a fine time with the traffic violator.
- To become an electrician you have to pass a battery of tests
- When William joined the army he disliked the phrase 'fire at will'.
- When cannibals ate a missionary they got a taste of religion.
- Did you hear that NASA scientists just recently put a bunch of Holsteins
into low earth orbit? They called it the herd shot round the world.
- A thief stole some valuable paintings, but the police caught him two
blocks away when his Econo-Bus ran out of fuel. He told the police, "I
needed Monet for De Gas to make the Van Gogh."
- When the dentist's novocaine supply ran out, he knew his number was up.
- A scientist doing a large experiment with liquid chemicals was trying to
solve a problem when he fell in and became part of the solution.
- If you don't pay your exorcist you get repossessed.
- If a lawyer can be disbarred, can a musician be denoted or a model
- There was once a cross-eyed teacher who couldn't control his pupils.
- An office with many people and few electrical outlets could be in for a
- A ham walked out of the hospital and said "I'm cured".
- When the human cannonball retired they couldn't find a replacement of
the right caliber.
- A sailor who met a widow was soon second mate.
- Monorail engineers have a one track mind.
- The man who fell into an upholstery machine is fully recovered.
- The archaeologist's career ended in ruins.
- The first guy to mass produce candies made a mint.
- An unemployed jester is nobody's fool.
- Finally, if you're out there trying to make a living, keep this in mind:
A lot of money is tainted. It taint yours and it taint mine.
Index to more Humor