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Brother Lloyd wants to know how come these product liability warnings weren't around when he was young.

You may have asked yourself what Heaven is like...  this avid golfer had no idea until he arrived, and then had regrets....  Found in Recipe du Jour 's great newsletter.

Forwarded by my brother, Lloyd Williamson, who undoubtedly has had this conversation with his own dogs more than once: Rules for Dogs   But he's not completely heartless - see Rules for Non-Pet Owners.

When author Cynthia Macgregor forwarded this piece about why women take so much longer than men in the rest rooms,  it reminded me of a funny toilet incident from my childhood.   Since I decided to "let it all hang out" in this website, I'll fess up in Public Toilets and Private Moments.  But first read The Stance.

Customer Barbara O'Connor tells us about the Widdle Wabbits

Mark tells us about a contest in which one little letter makes a difference.

The Weedy Lady passes on a humorous tale about a mountain farmer's son and and certain kind of - ahem - service.

Customer Bella Smith tells about The Burglar.  Don't miss it!

From ChefAl:  International travel isn't what it used to be.  You go, girl!

If we pray, should we get what we ask for?  Sometimes it's sort of like the three wishes from the genie in the bottle - depends on who's doing the asking and for exactly what!  Bear With Me...

With tongue in cheek (when not chewing, of course) my brother, Lloyd Williamson sends us this obituary of a beloved national figure.

I'm completely in favor of the separation of Church and State.  My idea is that these two institutions screw us up enough on their own, so both of them together is certain death.  --Comedian George Carlin

PLEASE don't give me a hard time about this contribution from Bella Smith: it's not a political comment on my part, it's a joke, folks....  (Well, maybe Bella doesn't think so.)  The Medical Convention

From former Fuller rep, Linda Mann:  Watch out for ducks!

Customer Barbara O'Connor offers a chuckle with "Christmas Card Stamps".

From a blurb in AAA magazine (an interesting, informative item, nearly worth the membership by itself, even without the great service):  "During your lifetime, you'll eat about 60,000 pounds of food.  That's the weight of about six elephants!"  Just thought you'd like to know that.

From our customer, Barbara O'Connor, a bit of morbid humor:  Last Rites.

ChefAl gives us some advice (from experience, Al?): " is okay to wait for the right man to come along... but in the meantime have some fun with the wrong ones."   

Dr. Mercola presents a special poem, a politically correct Christmas, "Holiday Alert: Dancer, Donner, Comet and Cupid Replaced With Four Pigs!"

From ChefAl:  Why there's No Nativity scene in Washington, D.C. this year.   Glad for the explanation ChefAl.

Little Johnny says "No thanks needed" for this Thanksgiving dinner, from Linda Mann.

Eric, the kid next door again:  What do you call a truckload full of bison?  Click here to find out.

Now we know.....   Author Cynthia MacGregor tells us about The Rabbi's Wisdom.

An advance news release discovered (who knows where - crystal ball?) by Travelin' Jim:  "Release Date: Nov 5, 2035: The white minority in Florida votes again today in its continuing effort to establish English as Florida's third language." 

Jackie Metcalf provides us with an explanation of The Top 20 Reasons Dogs Do Not Use Computers - and a feline rebuttal.

Supposedly this is a true story about an uncommon car part and a lady of a certain hair color, from my brother Lloyd Williamson (shame on you, bro' ).

While waiting in line, I noted the printing on the T-shirt of the gentleman in front of me:  "One Tequila, Two Tequila, Three Tequila, Floor....."

Come on in and enjoy the adventures of --- Super Granny!   Yyou need a good laugh.  From my brother, Lloyd Williamson, and supposedly true!

Here's some things you probably said in 1957 (if you were around then). 

Another strike in the battle of the sexes... Eve & God in the Garden of Eden.  (This counteracts all those "dumb blonde" jokes people keep sending me.)

From niece Tara:  What Not to Say to a Police Officer!

Peace in the Middle East?  Even a magic genie cowers over this one; see One Wish Only!  

You may be in more danger from law enforcement that you think, depending on which state you live in.  Take a look at these obsolete laws sent in by granddaughter Jackie.

Silly definitions:  Disgruntled -  a pig with laryngitis.

Author and public speaker Cynthia MacGregor passes on another (back) side of our men in blue (or black):  Airport Security.

On a light (!) note for punsters:  Bakers trade bread recipes on a knead to know basis.

Forwarded by Floyd's brother, John Metcalf:  To Err is Human, But....

I love off-beat instruction labels.  Here's one reported on a shirt from Korea:  For best results: wash in cold water separately, hang dry and iron with warm iron.  For not so good results: drag behind car through puddles, blow-dry on roof-rack.

This is the anniversary of what famous song?   (And a couple of my favorite alternative versions.)

Q:  What has four legs, is big, green, fuzzy,  and if it fell out of a tree would kill you?
    A.  A pool table.

From my brother, Lloyd Williamson:  Qoutable quotes.  Ya gotta luv 'em, they try so hard!

"Some days all you can do is smile, and hope...." from ChefAl.

My mother, Alice Williamson, told me this joke:  Where is God?

Today's chuckle:  The Sneaky Parrot.  (Different parrot....)

From my brother, Lloyd Williamson:   The Parrot.   You know what they, say, if one doesn't get you.....

Answer to riddle:  a buffaload.

The Sneaky Kitchen
Web Site by Bess W. Metcalf   Copyrightę April 1999 - 201

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