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From niece Tara: 

What Not to Say to a Police Officer!

  • I can't reach my license unless you hold my beer. (OK in Texas)

  • Sorry, Officer, I didn't realize my radar detector wasn't plugged in.

  • Aren't you the guy from the Village People?

  • Hey, you must've been doin' about 125 mph to keep up with me.  Good  job!

  • Are You Andy or Barney?

  • I thought you had to be in relatively good physical condition to be a police officer.

  • You're not gonna check the trunk, are you?

  • I pay your salary!

  • Gee, Officer!  That's terrific.  The last officer only gave me a warning, too!

  • Do you know why you pulled me over?  Okay, just so one of us does.

  • I was trying to keep up with traffic.  Yes, I know there are no other cars around.  That's how far ahead of me they are.

  • When the Officer says "Gee Son.... your eyes look red, have you been drinking?",  you probably shouldn't respond with "Gee, Officer, your eyes look glazed, have you been eating doughnuts?"
     

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