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Clueless in Washington D.C.?
tells it like it is when she passes on this piece...
The Real State of the Union
These are reputedly from a Washington, D.C.
travel agent with 30 years experience working with our congressmen and women.
It will definitely give you pause or wonder how laws ever get passed if you
didn't already wonder !! Read on . . . (At your own risk !!)
- I had a New Hampshire Congresswoman ask for
an aisle seat so that her hair wouldn't get messed up by being near the
- I got a call from a Candidate's Staffer, who
wanted to go to Capetown. I started to explain the length of the
flight and the passport information then she interrupted me with, "I'm not
trying to make you look stupid, but Capetown is in Massachusetts."
Without trying to make her look like the stupid one, I calmly explained,
"Cape Cod is in Massachusetts, Capetown is in Africa."
Her response ..... (click).
- Senior Vermont Congressman called, furious
about a Florida package we did. I asked what was wrong with the
vacation in Orlando. He said he was expecting an ocean-view room. I
tried to explain that is not possible, since Orlando is in the middle of the
state. He replied, "Don't lie to me. I looked on the map, and Florida is a very
- I got a call from a Lawmakers Wife who
asked, "Is it possible to see England from Canada?"
I said, "No."
She said, "But they look so close on the map."
- An aide for a cabinet member once called and
asked if they could rent a car in Dallas. When I pulled up the
reservation, I noticed they had only a 1-hour layover in Dallas. When
I asked him why he wanted to rent a car, he said, "I heard Dallas was a big
airport, and we will need a car to drive between the gates to save time."
- An Illinois Congresswoman called last week
(Editorial: Must have been Carol Mosley-Braun getting ready to
announce her run for the Presidency). She needed to know how it was
possible that her flight from Detroit left at 8:20am and got into Chicago at
8:33am. I tried to explain that Michigan was an hour ahead of
Illinois, but she could not understand the concept of time zones.
Finally, I told her the plane went very fast, and she bought that!
- A New York lawmaker called and asked, "Do
airlines put your physical description on your bag so they know who's
luggage belongs to who?"
I said, "No, why do you ask?"
She replied, "Well, when I checked in with it, they put a tag on my luggage
that said (FAT), and I'm overweight, I think that is very rude?"
After putting her on hold for a minute while I "looked into it" (I was
actually laughing) I came back and explained the city code for Fresno, CA is
(FAT), and that the airline was just putting a destination tag on her
- A Senator's Aide called in inquiring about a
trip package to Hawaii. After going over all the cost info, she asked,
"Would it be cheaper to fly to California and then take the train to
- I just got off the phone with a freshman
Congressman who asked, "How do I know which plane to get on?"
I asked him what exactly he meant, to which he replied, "I was told my
flight number is 823, but none of these darn planes have numbers on them."
A Lady Senator called and said, "I need to
fly to Pepsi-Cola, FL. Do I have to get on one of those
little computer planes?"
I asked if she meant fly to Pensacola, FL on a commuter plane. She
said, "Yeah, whatever!!"
- A Senior Senator called and had a question
about the documents he needed in order to fly to China. After a
lengthy discussion about passports, I reminded him he needed a visa.
"Oh no I don't, I've been to China many times and never had to have one of
I double-checked and sure enough, his stay required a visa. When I
told him this he said, "Look, I've been to China four times and every time
they have accepted my American Express!"
- A New Mexico Congresswoman called to make
reservations, "I want to go from Chicago to Rhino, New York."
The agent was at a loss for words.
Finally, the agent: "Are you sure that's the name of the town?"
"Yes, what flights do you have?" replied the lady.
After some searching, the agent came back with, "I'm sorry, ma'am, I've
looked up every airport code in the country and can't find a Rhino
The lady retorted, "Oh don't be silly! Everyone knows where it is.
Check your map!"
The agent scoured a map of the state of New York and finally offered, "You
don't mean Buffalo, do you?"
"That's it! I knew it was a big animal," she admitted!!!
Should we be worried about the state of the