(6)  Strike a Bargain           1   2   3   4   5   6   7   ...More >>>   

It may seem like you are blocked at every turn at things you want to do or have.  Be clever.  Try to bargain.  Ask: "What would it take for me to be able to do this."  "What would I have to do in order to have permission to do that."  Think before you speak; plan your approach when you really want something, and think of a way to present that plan that will increase your chance of success.  Try to slow down and think before you speak.  Begging, pouting and whining are childish, whether done by a child, teenager or grown-up.  Planning demonstrates adulthood.  Practice, practice, practice.

Think ahead, to what you want to do with life, what you'd realistically like to accomplish or experience.  Don't buy the platitude you'll hear from some adults: "You can be anything  you want to be."  No, you can't, that's an insult.  But there's lots of things you can do and be, with enough work and confidence.  No one will hand it to you; being an adult means planning your own future.  Start now.

Plan for your future education; this is one place that you have control.  Work hard enough to keep your grades high.  Take extra credit courses, or try for dual enrollment in high school, to get a start on college.  Identify your strengths and weaknesses honestly, and ask for help where you need it.  Talk to counselors about scholarships, vocational schools, other educational possibilities.  Find out now what you have to do to prepare for the rest of your life.  Student loans are often available, but you need to apply in advance, and getting a partial or complete scholarship is the very best!  You won't have to spend future years in debt paying back a student loan, instead of spending money on things you would enjoy.

Accepting rejection of your requests also show adulthood.  Rejection and denial will happen a whole lot all your life, unfortunately.  We don't get everything we want, even if it is reasonable to want it.  This was one of the hardest things for me to learn to accept; it used to upset me more than you can imagine.  I used to feel that rejection of a request was rejection of me.  Tain't so!  As I used to tell myself, "Grow up!"

Even if your smile breaks your face, try to do everything you are asked to do at home and in school willingly, immediately and cheerfully.  Don't worry about whether they will think it's good enough or not.  Don't worry about if it's fair that you have to do it.  Don't fuss about whether or not they will appreciate it.  Just do it, and do the best you can!  Little by little you'll see that things will get better for you. You'll be allowed to do more of the things you want to do.

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