(2)  Don't Lose the Child         1   2   3   4   5   6   7   ...More >>> 

You have the best (and the worst) of two worlds right now and for the next eight years or so.  Although still a child in some ways, you are starting to become an adult.  As you grow up, don't lose the child! 

The next time Mom wants to do something with you, stop and think for a minute.  Refusing to do things with her won't prove to her that you are growing up; there's no need for you to prove that to her anyway.  Consider; if your Mom suddenly wasn't there any more, you would regret for the rest of your life not having done more with her.  It won't hurt at all to "pretend" to be her little child and go along with her.  You will have more memories of your time with her (which is slowly but surely drawing to an end) and you will make her happy. Same goes for doing things with your Dad.  This doesn't mean you can't be with your friends too.  But you will have friends all your life and you only have a parent-child relationship for a short, short time.  Try to make time for both.

Being a teenager is very difficult, as you are beginning to find out.  It is one of the hardest "rites of passage" you will experience in your life.  But your parents are undergoing their own "rite of passage" at the same time.  You are looking forward to the challenge of being on your own, doing things you want to do and running your own life.  They are thinking: "I'm getting older, I won't have children at home, I'll be middle aged, I'm getting physical problems, I won't be able to earn as much money", etc.  You get the picture, right?  The empty nest bit.  Mostly they don't want to go there, but they will anyway.  That is one reason why parents don't want kids to grow up so fast.  Let them hang on to it a little longer.

All parents worry about their children growing up.  They wonder: "Will they learn to take care of themselves?  Will they get in trouble?  Will all my effort be wasted?  Did I do right?  Did I do enough?  Too much?  Will I be proud of them?  Ashamed of them?  Will they be ashamed of me?  Will they live to adulthood?  Will I survive their teen years?"

These questions and other problems make them worried and cross, and in the worst-case scenario, lead them to have an "I don't care, it's not my fault, it's all your fault" attitude.  This is normal (although disgusting) and to be expected.

In any case, when you are older, you'll be happy you've conserved your playful, carefree inner child.  That's what makes adults act silly sometimes, but hey - it makes them happy and they're having fun!

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