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From author (and more) Cynthia Macgregor, a message of advice for a more fulfilling life. Cynthia is a freelance writer, editor, ghostwriter, and the author of over 100 books. Learn more about Cynthia and her books at, or contact her at  

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When Its Over, It's Over

      If you are the new spouse or girlfriend/boyfriend or Significant Other of a person who has been married or in a serious relationship that failed, don’t hold his/her mistakes against them and don’t make a fuss if they are still on decent terms with this person from their past - who may be the other parent of their children. But even if there are no kids involved, be grateful that your beloved can exit a relationship gracefully and without rancor. It speaks well of him or her.

     Do not be jealous of this person from his or her past. Do not be possessive and grabby, trying to keep your new love away from their former mate. Do not be restrictive and tell him or her that you do not want them talking to or having anything to do with this person from their past. Do not be suspicious of the motives of either one of them if they express cordiality to each other. It does not mean either one wants the other one back.

     And even if your new love’s ex DOES want him/her back, not to worry. It’s over between them. You’re in the picture now. If you act grabby, possessive, and mistrustful, you’re only going to drive a wedge between yourself and your new love. Be calm. All is well. What’s over is over.

     Look ahead. It’s YOUR day, YOUR turn now.

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