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Forwarded by ChefAl especially for the holiday season. He sez: "
This gets a little funnier every year. Definitely in my top 5!"
Tequila Holiday Cake1 cup water
1 tsp. baking soda
1 cup sugar
1 tsp.
salt
1 cup of brown sugar
Lemon juice
4 large eggs
Nuts
1 bottle tequila
2 cups dried fruit
Sample the tequila to check quality. (I already sampled it.....several
times to check the quality)
Take a large bowl, check the tequila again. To be sure it is of the highest
quality, pour one level cup and drink.
Repeat.
Turn on the electric mixer.
Beat one cup of butter in a large fluffy bowl.
Add one teaspoon of sugar. Beat again.
At this point its best to make sure the tequila is still OK. Try another
cup..just in case it is going bad ya know!?.
Turn off the mixerer thingy.
Break 2 leggs and add to the bowl and chuck in the cup of dried fruit.
Pick the frigging fruit up off the floor. Darn fruit....
Mix on the turner.
If the fried druit gets stuck in the beaterers just pry it loose with a
drewscriver.
CRAP!!! pull out the plugger thingy!
Sample the tequila to check for tonsisticity.
Next, sift two cups of salt. Or something.
Check the tequila.
Now shift the lemon juice and strain your nuts.
Add one table.
Add a spoon of sugar, or somefink like dat.
Whatever you can
find.
Greash the oven.
Turn the cake tin 360 degrees and try not to fall over.
Don't forget to beat off the turner.
Finally, throw the bowl out.
Finish the tequila and wipe counter with the cat.
CHERRY MISTMAS!
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